And how do you keep your feet on the ground when you know that you were born, you were born to fly?

I've been tellin' my dreams to the scarecrow
'Bout the places that I'd like to see
I said, friend do you think I'll ever get there
Ah, but he just stands there smilin' back at me

So I confessed my sins to the preacher
About the love I've been prayin' to find
Is there a brown eye'd boy in my future, yeah
He says. girl you've got nothin' but time

But how do you wait for heaven
And who has that much time
And how do you keep your feet on the ground
When you know that you were born, you were born to fly

My daddy, he's grounded like the oak tree
My momma, she is steady as the sun
Oh you know I love my folks
But I keep starin' down the road
Just lookin' for my one chance to run

Yeah, 'cause I will soar away like the blackbird
I will blow in the wind like a sea
I will plant my heart in the garden of my dreams
And I will grow up where I'll wander wild and free

Oh, how do you wait for heaven
And who has that much time
And how do you keep your feet on the ground
When you know that you were born
You were born yeah
You were born to fly

So how do you wait for heaven
And who has that much time
And how do you keep your feet on the ground
When you know that you were born
You were born to fly fly fly fly

Hey
Ooooh, ooooh

-- Sara Evans "Born To Fly"

If you really knew me...

There's a new show on MTV called If You Really Knew Me, on Tuesdays at 11 p.m. Eastern/ 10 p.m. Central time. I recommend watching this show because it breaks boundaries and smashes cliques. Students from various high schools are asked to participate in a program called Challenge Day where students confess their true feelings to their peers and can relate to each other through traumatic experiences. It's true, and very real, so that's why I ultimately decided to write this post as if I were one of those students admitting my true feelings. Here we go:

If you really knew me, you'd know that although it looks like I had the perfect blessed childhood, things weren't quite as they seemed. My father stopped talking to me from the time I was 8 until the time I was 20. I still really don't know why... but it definitely affected me. I crave male attention, and sometimes receive it in the wrong ways. He started trying when I broke down to my mother and told her how much his not being there for me has affected me. I'm still kind of bitter.

If you really knew me, you'd know that I have the lowest self-esteem in the world. You'd know how mercilessly I was teased throughout elementary and middle school. I was the nerdy girl, the girl with the big glasses, and the buck teeth. I've never been fat, but I've always had a gut, and I gained some weight because of depression. When I got to high school, I became a lot better looking, but I still retain the effects of the teasing. I've been passed over for better looking girls, and it hurts me so much sometimes.

If you really knew me, you'd know why I was such a terrible daughter to my mother. You'd know why she has the power to make me feel lower than pond scum. You'd know that she refuses to understand why I feel the way I do, and that she feels that I'm over-exaggerating everything I've ever told her. I still to this day have so much rage and animosity toward her. As of right now, I am successfully, but barely, controlling my anger toward her. I just continue to take it day by day and the healing process has begun.

If you have watched the show, or were moved by this blog, then let me know: what would I see if I really knew you?

Okay, okay...

Thanks for all the appreciative comments, guys. It made me feel like I was doing something worth something in a way. But now I'm stuck. I have major writer's block and need some help. Give me some of your ideas, anything you would like to read about. Help a sister out here.

Love voraciously,

Courtenay

Should I keep going?

It's been awhile since my last post, but I have one simple question.

Should I keep posting?

I just feel as though nobody really reads.
Give me reasons to continue, and maybe I will. Or maybe not.

Yep.

True love is your soul's recognition of its counterpoint in another.

We all dream of finding "the one." The one we can spend our time with, the one we can laugh with, play with, and dream with. The one you just can't seem to get out of your head, no matter how hard you try. The one you can fight with, and the one you can still make it through the hard times with.

Some of you may have already found your soulmates. Some of you may not have. Either way, we all know that the word "love" carries so much meaning. Love has many different definitions according to the many different perspectives human beings have on the subject. To some, love is just a word, meaningless and intangible. To others, its an intense emotion, sometimes causing complete happiness, and other times, excruciating heartbreak. And to a select few, love is what makes the world go 'round.

Some of you may be hopeless romantics, dreaming of being swept off your feet by the perfect partner. Some of you may scoff at the idea of romanticism and being in love. And some of you may just be indifferent to the whole subject.

So my question is what category do you fall into? Are you currently in love? Are you married, single, divorced, etc.? Have you been swept off your feet? Do you dream of being swept off your feet? Are you a romantic? Are you not? What is your definition of love? And most importantly, what is your opinion of "true love"?