Thursday, September 10, 2009

Learn to make yourself happy.

Learning to create your own happiness is probably the most important lesson to be learned in life. This is a something I had to learn the hard way. For years I've looked for the one person that could make me truly happy with myself and my life. I've expected too much from too many. How could I possibly expect someone to be able to make me happy and free when I myself am not happy and free? It's truly an impossible feat.

Be very careful, for you also create your own loneliness. I know this from experience. I like to believe that I'm one of the loneliest to exist in this world (though I know it's not true). I've struggled to find the ones who truly care about me when they've been by my side the entire time. I chose to believe that nobody cared, that I was all alone in the world. I chose to believe that nobody could possibly understand how I felt or what I was going through. But I know now that that is the most untrue thing I could have ever thought.

Advice of the day: Life isn't about finding yourself, it's about creating yourself.

Yes, others can HELP make you happy. Others can give you all of their love, support, and advice, but it will never be enough until you realize who's really in control of the way you feel.. and that, of course, is you. Look beyond your imperfections, nobody is perfect. Don't dwell on the past because the future is what's ahead. Find a reason to smile. Put yourself in someone else' shoes. You'll realize how amazing you really have it. Pick yourself up when you fall. And always remember... there's light even in the darkest of places.

Song of the day: Switchfoot "Dare You To Move"

Oh, and please take the time to click the banner below followers and my listing of blog posts and sign up (CashCrate)... you could make free money by completing surveys and getting referrals (people to join the site). I promise it's legit! It's my only way of making money right now, so please be thoughtful!


The Social Drunk said...

I have trouble figuring out the difference between who I am and who I made myself. I, often times, don't which I'd rather be.

Rispa Frances said...

Great insights, great inspiration, thanks!

Emma Grace* said...

this is definitely something to think about. this week's been rough for me and i find my normal happy mood down the drain and totally influenced by someone else's actions. great insight in your blog.

john said...

In response to your reply to the guy that said "no" jvs or something.
I learned to get to the next level here you in part have to make so many questions and give so many answers/replies. You will see that in my opinion that guy is on power trip. many of his Q&As are completely useless and wrong.
You said he could have said nothing. No, he couldnt :)
he must be an ass! I say stupid shit not because I wnt the atention or the click count, but simply because Im a smartass and couldnt resist at that moment :D
I like this post, I agree, One can never find happiness from someone else, they must find it within themselves.
Lastly your following my blog "who I am"
thats just my life story, I wont add anymore to it. I thought I'd just let you know.

nonny said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
nonny said...

I am also a strong believer that when we try too hard to make our own happiness, we can make our own loneliness. This is a beautiful piece and i would like to read more from you.

Wonjee said...

I must say "Dare you to move" is a perfect choice of song, and I love that song. Great blog and feel like I could relate to you a lot. Thanks.

lifechick said...

Great insight. Anytime you look to other people to create your happiness, you will always be disappointed. The key is to be happy in yourself; then you can share that with someone else (who preferably is also happy in themselves, and not using you to make them happy).

Dayne Gingrich said...

For a 20 year old, that's pretty damn wise.

The second I stopped looking for others (primarily girlfriends) to make me happy... I found my wife ~ literally.

I don't mean weeks, or even days... I mean moments. I made a conscious decision to stop searching, through others, for my happiness. I was the only one responsible! Minutes later, a woman walked up and introduced herself... she was a friend of a friend... the rest is history!

Great post!

20 years old... really? Cmon! ;-)

Seisrush Ob said...

You are correct; standard Law of Attraction type stuff.

I've got a clip for the film "The Secret" posted here:

It's like LOA101, basically.

Love & Chaos,
Seisrush Ob

Charlene said...

I totally agree and this is at the heart of my philosopy. It's the BE -> DO -> HAVE. Living from the inside out, not the outside in.

I like your blog!

Reema B. said...

You know, you just reminded me of this Rocky Balboa quote me and my brother really like...think I'll post that in my blog 'cause it may take too much space here! :-D

Just like everyone else here, I definitely agree with you. It is only the person who "distracts" himself from happiness. There are no "distractions" unless you choose to make them as so.

I think that this rule applies not only to happiness, but also to things like meditating, studying, praying,etc. I think that people who believe that each day is exactly the same as the previous and the next fail to experience and live the people they interact with, the food they eat, the air they breath, etc....hmm, this actually reminds me of 'The Alchemist' by Paulo Coelho!

Wow, you have really inspired me!! XD I like your blog, the design is simple, and it is obviously written with passion :-)

But I think if I were you, I would've renamed this post as: Lessons From the One Who is Learning, for in the end it is an infinite process, not limited to past, future, or present which is why my motto is: "I haven't learned, I am learning"

You're more than welcome to come visit the Tea House at

Tami G said...

TOTALLY TOTALLY agree!! At 33 I'm just now beginning to figure out who I am and what I want from life! GREAT blog site BTW! LOVE it!

Jennette said...

Great blog am following!

Queen's Fool said...

I realize I have been dwelling on the things I know I can no longer do anything about. I think I forgot how to make myself happy.

Thanks for the insight :)

Chester said...

A very deep and excellent blog!

The Reticent One said...

Very nice! alot of good wisdom in there that i can tell you've acquired through a long road of tough experiences. I have been going through alot of what you were describing. I always sit around and think about how few good friends i have and how little people really know about me or relate to me. I have felt like the loneliest person alive many times. But i finally realized how silly it is to sit around and perpetuate that way of looking at things.

Self Expression has become my avenue for freedom from insecurity and loneliness. I am learning to become who i want realizing that the possibilities are endless as long as i stay true to myself in the process.

Thanks for the food for thought.

anna said...

i'm loving your site. oh btw, dare you to move is a perfect song for this blog. perfect read for a situation like this. thanks for your masterpiece! =)

Political Blog said...

You're really right. If you're not happy with who you are, how can you be happy with someone else, or how can someone else make you happy?

Write Right Where You "R" said...

No matter how old you get, it's good to be reminded to look within yourself!

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